


Moulin Shague

by Snarkoleptic



Series: Other Bits and Bobs [7]
Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:55:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snarkoleptic/pseuds/Snarkoleptic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mistress Musk has decided there might be something to Shag's unique tactics after all. Parody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Soul Sisters

**Author's Note:**

> I so can't believe it took this long for this idea to victimize me. Welcome to the first installment in the new Moulin Shague parody series, which will be perpetrated in no particular order as and when I manage to lay my hands on more crack. Future installments will be added as additional chapters here. (Also, formatting for this particular one was a royal pain. My God.)
> 
>  **Orlesian translation:** Do you want to dream with me (tonight)?
> 
> For reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMShrurchRI
> 
> I don't even…  
> 
> 
> * * *

_Oh. My._   
_  
**Fade**   
_   
_!_

This is, like, the _best_ day ever! There was a change in, like, management or whatever, so Mistress Musk decided it was time to get creative and make a _huge_ push to get more mages. Which was _totally_ a drag at first, because I've been having all these, like, _issues_ and stuff, but then she said desperate times call for desperate pleasures or something.

She said it was time to get _creative_.

And then she said she wanted to try _my_ idea with _everybody_! Oh, I wish I could have seen the look on that bitch Caress's face! But I have to play nice, otherwise I don't get to, like, rub it in when we impress the Void out of the new overlords. Shove _that_ in your mouth organ, Whisper!

And the _best_ part is, Mistress Musk is doing the music and the lights and stuff, so I can actually think about what I'm _doing_! Which is _totally_ awesome, because we all had to learn burr less queue dancing for this, and it's _way_ hard.

But now we get to rehearse, and Mistress Musk thinks the best way to start is something that will really get us in the, like, _spirit_ of things. Build our confidence or motivate us or something. Whatever. Just check me _out_!

* * *

 _ **[Miss Demeaning:]**  
Let's grab a soul, sistas  
Lemme hear ya flow sistas_

 **  
_[Chorus:]_   
**   
_Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista_   
_Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, go sista_

.-^-.

Whoa. Feather boas. Um, Whisper, I don't think you're supposed to pull on yours like that. It's supposed to go around your, like, neck, not under your-

.-^-.

 _ **[Whisper:]**  
He met Marmalade in his own dreamin' Fade  
Struttin' her stuff, lookin' sweet  
She said, "Hello, oh no, you wanna give it a go?" Oh! uh huh_

 _.-^-.  
_

Or maybe that actually works. Way to dodge the eee essarby, there. See, I can be nice! Oooh, group line, group line!

.-^-.

 _  
**[Chorus:]**   
_   
_Itchy, itchy, ya ya magebane (Hey hey hey)_   
_Itchy, itchy, ya ya fear (fear)_   
_Magic power, right here for ya (oh yea)_

 **  
_[Whisper:]_   
**   
_Demon Lady Marmalade_

 **  
_[Caress:]_   
**   
_What What, What what_

 _ **[Whisper:]** Ooh oh_

 _ **[Chorus:]**  
Voulez vous rêver avec moi ce soir  
Voulez vous rêver avec moi_

 **  
_[Caress:]_   
**   
_Yeah yeah yeah yeah_

 _.-^-._

Oh my Fade, check it out, check it _out!_ I get, like, a _solo_! Look at me go!

.-^-.

 **  
_[Shag:]_   
**   
_He dreamed of her boudoir while she freshened up_   
_Boy drank all of that mana wine_   
_On her black satin sheets is where he started to freak, yeah_

 **  
_[Chorus:]_   
**   
_Itchy, itchy, ya ya magebane (Da da da)_   
_Itchy, itchy, ya ya fear, ooh yeah (fear)_   
_Magic power, right here for ya (oh yea)_

 **  
_[Shag:]_   
**   
_Demon Lady Marmalade_

 _.-^-._

Oh, shit, there went the sash again! Oh well! There's Orlesian in this song too!

.-^-.

 **  
_[Chorus:]_   
**

_Voulez vous rêver avec moi ce soir (ce soir, what what what)_   
_Voulez vous rêver avec moi_

 _.-^-._

Like, whoa. _Major_ shocker here. Man, who knew Caress could talk like _this?_

 _.-^-._

 **  
_[Caress:]_   
**   
_Yeah, yeah, uh_   
_We come through with the magic and the garter belts_   
_We let 'em know we 'bout the take straight out the gate uh_   
_We independent demons, some mistake us for whores_   
_I'm sayin', why live mine when I can live yours_   
_Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry_   
_I'mma keep playing these cats out like mabari_   
_Wear high heels, hey, gettin' soul from a mage_   
_Four badass chicks in the dreamin' Fade_

 _.-^-._

Ooooh! Group line, group line! Oh my Fade, we sound so good together!

.-^-.

 **  
_[Chorus:]_   
**

_Hey sistas, soul sistas, betta get that soul, sistas  
_

 **  
_[Caress:]_   
**

_We'll drink wine with diamonds in the glass  
By the case the meanin' of expensive taste  
If you wanna, itchy, itchy, ya ya  
Magic power, right here; what?  
_

 _ **[Caress:]** Demon Lady Marmalade_

 _ **[Miss Demeaning:]**  
One more time C'mon now  
_

.-^-.

And Miss Demeaning totally _is_ , too. Fade, I didn't ever meet such a bitch! Not even Caress!

.-^-.

 **  
_[Chorus:]_   
**

_Marmalade... Demon Marmalade... Marmalade..._

 _.-^-._

Yeah, this new girl was even later than _I_ was to get on the whole manifestation train. She's a little, um, slow, and when she sings her mouth is _always_ hanging open…

.-^-.

 **  
_[Fellatio:]_   
**   
_Hey, hey, hey!_   
_Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth_   
_Color of cafe au Fade; all right_   
_Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried,_   
_More-more-more_

 **  
_[Shag:]_   
**   
_Now he's back home doin' herbal shite_

 **  
_[Whisper:]_   
**   
_Livin' a moss flannel life_

 _ **[Fellatio:]**  
But when he turns off to sleep the desire girls creep,  
_

 **  
_[Chorus:]_   
**   
_More-more-more_

 **  
_[Chorus:]_   
**   
_Itchy, itchy, ya ya magebane (da da, yeah)_   
_Itchy, itchy, ya ya fear (fear)_   
_Magic power, right here for ya (oh yeah)_

 _ **[Fellatio:]** Demon Lady Marmalade_

 **  
_[Chorus:]_   
**

_Voulez vous rêver avec moi ce soir (ce soir)_   
_Voulez vous rêver avec moi (oh, my sistas yea)_   
_Voulez vous rêver avec moi ce soir (ce soir)_   
_Voulez vous rêver avec moi (c'mon! uh)_

 _  
**[Miss Demeaning:]**   
_

_  
**Fellatio...**   
_

_[Fellatio:](au Fade, oh)  
_

 _  
**Shag...**   
_

_[Shag:] (Demon Marmalade)  
_

 _.-^-._

Fade, but I can belt it out. Look at me go!

 _.-^-._

 _  
**Caress...**   
_

_[Caress:] (Hey, hey! uh uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh...)  
_

 _  
**Whisper...**   
_

_[Whisper:] (Oh! Oo **ooooh**!)_

 _**  
_[Miss Demeaning:]_   
** _

_My mana, baby...(baby)  
Dreamin' Fade... (Oh)  
Miss Demeaning, here..._

 **[Chorus:]**

 _Demon Lady Marmala-ooh, yes!_

* * *

Anders wakes, bathed in sweat and thoroughly conflicted. They wouldn't _all_ gang up on just one mage, would they? Creatures of opportunity, right? They didn't have any other agenda, did they?

 _Still… Not going to the First Enchanter with this nonsense. Can't be necessary. They didn't even notice me this time._


	2. Girly Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second installment in the Moulin Shague parody series.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. I still don't even…
> 
> Reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REGzrwMj_N4  
> 
> 
> * * *

Shag sighed. She couldn't be _totally_ sure, since all they taught the desire girls was about, like, _lust_ and stuff, but as she looked again at the present she'd just been given and pressed a gentle hand to a horn, she thought she might be in, like, love or something.

And she wasn't the only one who had problems with the mages! That _alone_ was enough to make her feel better, even if she never let the other girls see how, like, scared she really was during rehearsal.

Sigh.

Id. His name was Id. He said he couldn't find any confident mages, and the insecure ones are _so_ hard for the pride boys to get. Fade, did Shag know what he meant there. If either of them could ever _get_ one, Shag was sure they'd be, like, soul mates.

Especially since he said he'd been trying her methods, even _before_ Mistress Musk had glommed on for the ride.

And then he'd given her a gift. It was, like, the most _thoughtful_ thing ever! And he _sang_ to her! She'd remember it always, she thought, as she let it play back through her mind again.

Like, _sigh._

* * *

 _My gift is this thong... it's fitted for you  
Go and tell the eee essarby that this is your thong  
I've only been watching, but you're not alone  
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind  
That I'm breaking out prose...  
You can be rated T, now you're in some clothes_

 _I fell off a dream and I pissed off the boss  
Well some of these mages, well they,  
they've got me quite cross  
But the Fade's been kind while I made this thong  
It's so demons like you can keep it put on_

 _So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do  
You see I've forgotten if vagine is too blue  
And well, the thing is, what I really mean  
Yours are the sweetest horns, I've ever seen_

 _Go and tell the eee essarby that this is your thong  
I've only been watching, but you're not alone  
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind  
That I'm breaking out prose...  
You can be rated T, now you're in some clothes_

 _I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind  
That I'm breaking out prose...  
You can be rated T, now you're in some clothes_


End file.
